Show Interest

Some of us tend to talk too much about themselves, which kills the conversation quickly. You can get people talk about themselves instead of making them listen to you. This way will help other person feel more at ease and boosts his or her confidence. Further more, it invokes the other person to make an effort to reciprocate. For example:

, "Are you enjoying the party?," the question could be phrased as, "What do you think of the party?"

Phrasing question are important in communication. You may phrase your question to the person to make him or her think. Or, you may ask a leading question to make that person agree with you.

Do not ask the person's political affiliation, favorite culture, his/her religion! Imagine he or she answered in a way that is against your your political affiliation, culture or religion, then how would you respond? Put the person in his or place? Or with a polite but dishonest answer? So, you unintentionally put yourself into this awkward situation.

How about you're talking to a person with an accent? Then, ask where he's from or take a guess, if you recognize the accent. But, do not interrogate the person with one question after another.

Listen with empathy

Listening with empathy means that you listen from your heart, put yourself in that person's shoe. If you listen with empathy, you are not judging the person's way of expressing himself or herself. Listening empathy is applied to problem situations, especially when anger is circulating between people talking. So listening with empathy means asking yourself, “Why is this person sounding so angry, upset?” “What is he or she asking for?” “What can I say or do to be supportive or helpful?” Of course, you are not there to take in all the heat from the this angry person. However, if you can figure what makes this person behave and talk outrageously, then, perhaps, you will be effective in your response.

Listen Twice, Speak Once

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